bulimia ongoing

The second stage in bulimia is when the strict control finally breaks down. This is often inevitable because the sufferer has been restricting their eating too much, or eating a very bland and boring diet. A binge generally starts with them eating something off the ‘forbidden’ list. Then once they feel they have ‘blown it’, their eating becomes chaotic, and they may eat a tremendous amount of food, again mostly coming from that ‘forbidden’ list. Binges tend to get worse over time as bulimia develops, and at first they may be quite small – but some people find this sense of losing control overwhelming, and may even find themselves eating food they would never usually eat – such as food that is not yet cooked, food that doesn’t belong to them or even things like dog or cat food. Binges can be spontaneous, but some people also plan them, and go out to buy food specifically to eat on a binge. Whatever the form of the binge, afterwards they are seized by terrible black feelings of regret, self-hatred and fear. The terror of putting on weight is very powerful, combined with a sense of shame for what they have done, and the shock of having lost control and broken the diet they had planned to stick to.

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